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Clinical Practice

Behavior Cusps Aren't Just for Kids: What Marriage and Parenting Taught Two BCBAs

By Jordan & Melina · · 4 min read

"We knew how to communicate. We didn't know how to communicate with each other."

When people hear “behavior cusp,” they usually picture a toddler taking first steps or a child saying their first words. Those are classic examples.

But here’s something we didn’t fully appreciate until we got married and had kids: cusps keep happening your whole life. Some of the biggest ones we’ve ever gone through didn’t happen in a clinic. They happened at home.

A quick refresher

A behavior cusp is a new skill that opens the door to new reinforcement, new people, and new places. A pivotal behavior is a skill that makes you better at many other things at once. Researchers Robert and Lynn Koegel showed that improving areas like motivation and self-management tends to lift many untaught skills along with them. (Our post on behavior cusps vs. pivotal behaviors goes deeper.)

When Rosales-Ruiz and Baer first described cusps in 1997, they didn’t limit the idea to childhood. A cusp is any behavior change that puts a person in contact with new contingencies, which then shape even more behavior. That can happen at 2, 22, or 52.

Cusp #1: Learning to communicate with each other

We both knew how to communicate before we got together. We’re behavior analysts. Communication is basically our whole job.

What we didn’t know was how to communicate openly and effectively with a partner. That was a new skill, and learning it was a true cusp. It opened the door to a more honest, more authentic, and much more reinforcing relationship.

Then we had kids, and we had to learn all over again. Talking to our children changed how we talk to each other, especially when they’re in the room.

Cusp #2: Budgeting together

Early in our relationship, we had to figure out money as a team. Budgeting seems like a boring skill. But it built transparency and consistency between us, and those made it easier to get the things we both wanted.

That’s a cusp. Two people who used to be reinforced independently found a way to be reinforced together.

It’s also a skill that never stops changing. Add a child, and you add expenses. The budget has to grow with the family.

Pivotal behavior #1: Perspective-taking

Melina’s organization skills went through a major overhaul when we moved in together, and again when the kids arrived. Laundry used to be a once-a-week thing. Now it’s several times a week.

At first we thought of organization as the skill that changed. But we realized it fits under a bigger umbrella, and that umbrella is perspective-taking.

When it’s not just you anymore, you have to think about how your choices affect someone else. That one shift changes how you organize the house, time your day, and structure your routines. That’s what makes it pivotal. Improve it, and a dozen other things improve with it.

Pivotal behavior #2: Flexibility

If we had to pick the most important pivotal skill for anyone in our field, it might be flexibility.

Behavior analysis isn’t rocket science where everything has to be done exactly the same way every time. In fact, it can’t be. Learners are different, families are different, and days are different.

The same is true at home. Someone’s running late. A plan falls through. A goal doesn’t get met by the date we hoped. Flexibility lets us move with what’s happening instead of fighting it, and we can bring it into every area of life.

Try this: a family cusp check

You don’t need to be a BCBA to use these ideas at home. Sit down with your partner, or just with yourself, and ask:

  1. What new skill would open the most doors for our family right now?
  2. What one skill, if it got better, would make lots of other things easier?
  3. What skill did we already learn together that changed everything?

The first question finds your next cusp. The second finds your pivotal behavior. The third is just a nice reminder of how far you’ve come.

For clinicians

This is a great lens for your own life, but it’s also a reminder about the families you serve. Parents are learning cusps too: how to advocate, how to run a routine, how to stay consistent when they’re exhausted. Supporting those skills can matter just as much as the goals on your learner’s plan.

Key takeaways

  1. Behavior cusps happen at every age, not just in early childhood.
  2. Learning to communicate as a couple, and as parents, can be a real cusp.
  3. Perspective-taking and flexibility are pivotal skills that improve many other areas of life.
  4. Ask what skill would open the most doors for your family right now.

Listen to the full conversation in our episode on behavior cusps and pivotal behaviors on The BC(BAes) Podcast.

References

Hashtags for sharing

#TheBCBAes #BehaviorAnalyst #BCBA #ABA #BehaviorAnalysis #AppliedBehaviorAnalysis #RBT #ABAPodcast #BCBAPodcast #Parenting #BurnoutRecovery #MentalHealth

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